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January living room with faded balloons. Baby holds toy phone selfie-style: "2026 my year—new crawl, new everything!" Other baby cuts in from side: "2026 your year? Nope. Same diapers, same cries. Resolutions expired in the crib already." First baby fake-offended, waves fist: "Get it together, tiny—from struggle to success? You're still losing to gravity daily!" Intense stare-down, then evil synchronized laughs. Warm festive lights, subtle confetti float (no text), mix roast and chaotic giggles, 21-second savage motivation twist.